


Before Breakfast

by randomizer



Category: Halt and Catch Fire
Genre: F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 11:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12456948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomizer/pseuds/randomizer
Summary: What did Donna and Cam do in the hours between visiting the Mutiny building and breakfast at the diner?





	Before Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> The missing scene from 4.10 that I'd most have wanted to see.

It’s 2:00 AM when they leave the old Mutiny building, and Donna feels as if she might never need sleep again. She glances at Cam, who really should get _some_ rest before getting on the road. Donna tries to ignore the pang she feels at the thought.

“One more stop?”

Donna realizes that Cam is saying something.“Sure. Where?”

“You’ve never seen my land, not really.” This is true. Donna hadn’t really looked around that day she met Cam at the Airstream to get her to sign away the rights to the Rover algorithm. She was much too busy trying not to see or feel anything at all.

Donna wonders why Cam wants to show her the land, land that probably will never actually be the site of her home. But she nods and climbs into the passenger seat of Cam’s F-150, glad of the new destination. She closes her eyes, enjoying the silence between them, a silence so different from the one that had consumed her for the past eight years.

Donna feels the truck stop and hears Cam cut off the engine. It’s unseasonably warm for early winter in northern California, almost like a summer evening, with the moon so bright that she can see as far as the tree line in the back of Cam’s property. They both get out of the truck.

Cam is rummaging in the back seat, pulling out a dark wool blanket.She spreads it on the grass a few steps from the truck, sits on it, and glances at Donna. Donna sits beside Cam without looking at her face, eyes fixed on the large, glowing moon above them.

Cam is the first to break the silence. “I’m not selling it.”

Donna is surprised at the relief she feels at that; she has been quietly counting the things that might tether Cam to this state, to this place, to her, and she is happy to add one more thing to the list. None of it might be enough, of course, but something is better than nothing at all.

“It’s beautiful.” Donna means that; even in the moonlight, she can see enough to appreciate the serenity of this patch of land. She thinks of her own large, traditionally Californian house, trying and failing to picture Cam in it. Cam belongs in her Airstream, with her truck; she has never cared about the obvious trappings of success the way Donna has. For a moment, Donna wishes that she didn’t care about any of it either, that she could just drive across the country with Cam and leave everything else behind.

Donna lies down on the blanket, tired for the first time all night. Cam lies down too, turning slightly to face her. Donna thinks about their visit to the old Mutiny building, thinks about Phoenix, about how it would feel to work with Cam again, creating together.For some reason, a few lines from an old song float through her mind: _Looking down on empty streets, all she can see / Are the dreams all made solid / Are the dreams all made real / All of the buildings, all of those cars / Were once just a dream / In somebody's head_. She wonders vaguely why all of this feels suddenly so familiar. She watches as Cam hesitates and then begins to speak.

“I’m . . . going to miss you, too. I think I’ve missed you this whole time, but I didn’t always know it.” Cam is looking straight at her now, with a startling intensity.

“I always knew it.” The words come out before Donna fully has time to consider them. “It just got worse for me, not better. Sometimes I could push it away, even for a long time. But it was always there.” Donna’s voice is choking a little now, and she’s furious with herself. There would be ample time for this later, once Cam was really gone.

Cam looks away from Donna, looks up at the sky. “If we knew then everything we know now, do you think it would have been different?”

Donna considers this. “I think we had to go through what did to _get_ to now, so it’s an impossible question to answer. It’s what made us, _us_.”

Cam nods. “Maybe it was worth it.” She looks right at Donna again as she says this, eyes strong and unafraid. Donna again feels as though she might burst into tears. They sit in silence again, watching the moon and listening to a dog bark in the distance.

“I don’t really want to leave, I just . . . there are things that I have to think about, and I can’t think about them here, not after everything that’s happened.” Cam’s voice is thick, and it’s everything Donna can do not scream at her to stay, stay, please stay. Her home is here, people who love her are here, she doesn’t need to go away to look for what she already has. But she can’t say anything like that, especially not with Joanie’s _This is such bullshit, Mom!_ ringing in her ears after her last attempt to hold onto someone she loved.

Instead, Donna sighs and says nothing at all. Suddenly, she feels exhausted, and Cam seems to notice. “We should probably try to sleep a little. It’s only a few hours until sunrise.Maybe we can grab some breakfast then.” Donna is relieved at the prospect of breakfast. It’s one more thing to do before everything ends once again.

Cam's eyes shut and she seems to doze, her head just barely touching Donna’s right shoulder. Before she can stop herself Donna touches Cam’s hair and strokes it gently, just once. She suddenly remembers that dinner with Cam and Tom, right before everything fell apart completely. Cam, according to Tom, had said just before they decided to get married that she wished it could be like this forever.It couldn’t, of course. Cam’s marriage to Tom had an end point, just as her own marriage to Gordon had. Nothing can be like this forever. But it would be nice if it could all last just a little bit longer.

Donna closes her eyes, doesn’t sleep, and then watches as the night fades into dawn.


End file.
